Noise has become omnipresent in Western culture, and it's not only affecting our well-being, but it's affecting our children's well-being and their hearing too.
Read MoreIs It Possible That Homeschooled Boys Become More Successful?
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What is the first thing we teach boys when they go to school?
Read MoreWhen Is Online Learning Recommended for Kids?
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It is physically, emotionally, and intellectually superior to teach your kids without computers.
Yet, there are times when we can justify online learning for our kids, but these times should be the exception, not the rule.
The Problem with Screen Use
Sitting in front of a computer for long periods during the day is unhealthy, regardless of age. Yet, it is even worse for children because they are still developing the habits which will become their way of life.
Their brain is also developing and needs exposure to environments that don’t hinder its development.
We want our children to be physically active, socially competent, and intellectually sharp.
To accomplish these goals, we need to put our children in environments where they learn to enjoy physical activity, engage socially with people of all ages, and develop their minds, including their memory, which is a vital component of intelligence.
IT'S ALL ABOUT HABITS
Yet, a child who develops the habit of sitting in front of a computer for long periods during the day is not getting physical activity, social stimulation, or developing his memory.
He is developing the habit of using the computer, which requires almost no moment on the user's part. It is an anti-social activity requiring no social skills and virtually no use of our memory.
As one young person said, "Who needs a memory when we have all the information we need at a push of the key?"
“Neurologist and Oxford professor Baroness Susan Greenfield believes that video game addiction can cause a form of what she describes as “dementia” in children.”
Given that our memories are a part of our brains and that a good memory is always present in highly intelligent people, it would be prudent to develop and protect our memories by using them.
We don't want to waste our or our children's minds sitting in front of screens tapping keys.
The Social Factor
Another parent noted that "online pupils tend to abandon manners that most would adhere to in the classroom."
One of the concerns, when a family is considering homeschooling, is the social factor. "Will my child develop good social skills?" Yet, we put our kids in front of computers and call that homeschooling without connecting the dots.
Online learning is not homeschooling; it is anti-social schooling.
Kids growing up in anti-social environments will most likely become anti-social adults. Online homeschooling, with kids sitting in front of computers for too many hours per day, will produce anti-social kids.
Developing social skills and learning to enjoy other people's company is a result of
1) being taught manners when young, so we don't offend others, and
2) having ample opportunity to practice social skills, so we learn to be comfortable and confident in social situations.
We also learn to enjoy the company of other people, and we discover much about ourselves by interacting with others.
We are social creatures; living these technology-consuming, anti-social lives is unnatural!
Dumbed-Down Schooling
An in-person teacher provides a socially-active environment for children where they engage and develop their social skills. A teacher also creates an intellectually-stimulating environment for children where they can ask questions and search for answers. They hold books and learn to read well so they can tackle subjects independently.
If we aren't raising kids who know how to ask the right questions, who know how to find the answers, who know how to teach themselves, then, as Dorothy Sayers said in her essay on education, "...whatever instruction fails to do this is effort spent in vain."
Online learning is effort spent in vain.
“Steve Jobs was not a proponent of tech in the classroom. His kids read real books. ”
Even Steve Jobs was on to the problem with technology and children. Have you read his interview about it in the New York Times?
Lastly, let me briefly mention the ill effects of screen use on our physical, emotional, and intellectual health, according to the Mayo Clinic:
Obesity
Inadequate sleep schedules and insufficient sleep
Behavior problems
Delays in language and social skills development
Violence
Attention problems
Less time learning
With attention problems also comes learning problems. Who’s fooling who?
“In a 2010 Iowa State University study published in the journal Pediatrics, viewing television and playing video games each are associated with increased subsequent attention problems in childhood.”
We know kids have died from blood clots after gaming for too long. We want to protect our kids from the habit of computer use until they are older when they can no longer avoid it. Hopefully, they'll be able to exercise sound judgment and self-control by then.
When can we let our kids learn online?
We can let our kids learn online when we have exhausted all other options.
Below the age of nine, I would not let my child near a computer. The brain is still in a crucial stage of development until a child reaches adolescence, when the brain does a self-pruning of any weak pathways.
Age Nine
At nine, I would make an exception and let my child study Latin for half an hour online, one day a week. The rest of the week, I would do my best to help my child study, using the lessons for instruction and inspiration.
Age 13
Around the age of thirteen, if there were any subjects my child needed, such as more advanced mathematics, and I could not teach them, I would hunt high and low for a teacher.
I would try to find other homeschooling parents who might understand the subject and could teach my child. I might ask qualified neighbors or put an ad up in a local bookstore for a tutor. I would do everything I could to find a natural teacher.
“In a 2015 University of Utah School of Medicine brain imaging study published in the journal Addiction Biology, brain changes were measured in video gamers that are correlated with increased distractability, impulsivity (hallmarks of addiction and ADHD), schizophrenia and autism”
Once I had exercised all options, I might look online if I still could not find a teacher. But my goal would be to keep my child off the computer if I could help it, and if I could not help it, to restrict online learning as much as possible.
Age 16
If my child were older, say 16, according to my state's law, I might consider graduating him from high school and moving on to college or dual-enrollment in our local community college.
College is our best option for an older child when in-person teachers are unavailable.
☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, I guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise intelligent children without computers. You can enroll using the link below and be confident knowing you can and will homeschool successfully.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.
Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
How to Create a Morning Ritual and Reach Your Homeschooling Goals
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The morning can swallow your time if you don't have a ritual in place especially when you’re homeschooling.
Read MoreSix Hidden Facts of Schooling Every Parent Should Know→
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What follows is an edited transcription of key selections from John’s talk, The Underground History of American Education. As fantastic as it may seem, his findings are based on verified fact, not crazy conspiracy theories.
Read MoreIs Listening to an Audiobook Reading?
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Are you impressed with adults who read 100 books or more per year? I was once, too, until one day, someone mentioned it was audiobooks that they were reading.
What?! Since when does listening to a book qualify for reading a book? There can be dangerous consequences to misusing language like this.
THE PROBLEM
Let's examine the problem. We'll start by defining what we mean by "reading a book."
Reading, as in what we teach children when they first go to school, is a skill that involves the eyes and both sides of the brain. Using our eyes, we look at the printed words on a page and decipher their meaning to understand what the writer is communicating.
"I read" is an action verb that says I am in the active state of reading a book using my sense of sight.
We have other grammatical uses for the word, such as in the gerund "a poetry reading." We also have the infinitive: "I went home to read." We can use the word metphorically as in “I read the writing on the wall.”
But to say that you read a book, as in the verb, “I read,” when you listened to the book is to use the word ambiguously. Using words ambiguously confuses the meaning, so we understand something to be what it is not or something to not be what it is.
Manipulating the use of language is the art and science of propaganda. Propagandists get people to believe things that are untrue by twisting and reframing language in a way that deceives us.
Not that there is an intent to deceive people about how many books someone read last year, but it is deceptive. Why do we have a separate term for blind people who read with their hands if it weren't?
When blind people read with their hands, we call it Braille, so we don't confuse it with reading using our eyes.
THE SOLUTION
If people want to "read" with their ears, it needs its own term to avoid confusion.
It would mislead people to say that our three-year-old read Peter Rabbit when we read the book to our child. When we watch a film based on a novel, we don't say we read the book. Before television, when people listened to books read over the radio, they didn't say they read the book. We would never listen to a podcast and say we read the podcast.
None of this would make sense if we did.
Why then is it suddenly okay to say something like, "I read The Power of Regret," when the truth is that I listened to Daniel Pink read it on Audible books? (It was a good listen!)
And then there’s the argument that some people are auditory learners and some people are visual learners. Yet, the Multiple Learning Styles has never been proven, and educated people have always read books. Skills are something we develop. Listening is a skill and so is reading.
“Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.”
Here's the problem with replacing listening with reading: when half of the country's adult population cannot read at a sixth-grade level, stretching the concept of reading to include audiobooks will not help things.
When we believe listening to an audiobook is reading, we can deny having a literacy problem. You might ask, "What does it matter if we read with our eyes or listen with our ears? We are getting the same information."
It matters for a few reasons.
Language Matters
We have words with precise definitions to facilitate our communication with one another. If you use a word one way, and I am using it another, neither of us understands the other.
While you might argue that language naturally changes over time, it does, but not in ways that don't make sense.
I'd also love to boast reading 100 books a year, but it takes time to read a serious book. I could listen to 150 books in a year while cooking, cleaning, and driving, but reading Tacitus, that's another story.
Reading Matters
Some words come into vogue and go out of vogue, but the altering of reality concerns me. Saying we are reading when in fact, we are listening has its repercussions.
Regardless of how many people listen to audiobooks, Americans read less than the global average.
Our children need to learn how to read challenging books, and so do we. Competent reading is a skill we develop to gain access to the world of literature, both ancient and modern.
Skilled reading allows us to read original sources and conduct research, so we can think for ourselves rather than let others think for us. Reading fires up our brains much more than listening, so reading helps to keep our minds strong. Reading is a pleasant way to spend one’s leisure time. Reading makes us smarter by improving our minds. And what about the smell of a book, the feel of a book, the look of a book?
We have a lot of debate about language these days, but when we examine the cause for the disputes, it's because we ignore common sense.
If reading involves the eyes and listening involves the ears, then when we listen to a book being read by someone else, it is safe to say we are not reading it.
If listening is listening, then it can't be reading. If our Americans (and Brits) read below the global average, correcting the problem by listening to audiobooks will not fix it.
Free Download: Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, I guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise intelligent children of good character. You can enroll using the link below and be confident knowing you can and will homeschool successfully.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.
Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.
10 Inexpensive but Fun Summertime Activities for Kids
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Summer is a great time for entertaining, exploration, and play, which all kids need plenty of (and so do we!).
I put together a list of ten inexpensive things (some are free) and easy for you to help your kids do, or at least help them get set up to do. If your kids are old enough, you can leave them to the "doing" part for some of these activities while you enjoy a good book, a short snooze, or catch up on folding laundry.
1. Neighborhood Recital
One thing we used to do and that our neighbors loved was to put on a piano recital. My kids and I would make high tea goodies such as little sandwiches and cakes, and we'd invite some of our neighbors for high tea and a concert.
They loved it! If your kids don't play a musical instrument, then a poetry recital is fun too. For the recital, you want them to memorize the piece, practice introducing them, teach them how to stand before the audience and make eye contact before they sit down to play or begin reciting, and then stand before the audience at the end before they leave the stage.
If you do a poetry recital, each child can recite a poem of their choice, and then you can invite the audience to share a poem. If you decide to open the stage for everyone, let your neighbors know ahead that they should come prepared to recite one of their favorite poems.
2. Make a Kite and Fly It
I used to buy somewhat expensive kites at our annual kite festival for my kids, but the best kites were the ones we had when I was young. They were simple to assemble and oh so easy to fly. You can help your kids make one from scratch (plenty of Youtube videos on this subject), or you can buy a kit from Amazon.
Assuming you have the kite parts, assemble the kite, use old sheets to make the tails, and head for a tall hill, without trees, on a windy day. Bring a picnic lunch as kite flying will keep your kids occupied for hours. In my town, we had a kite festival every year, and we used to have so much fun, which lasted the entire day.
3. Water Balloon Fights
Water balloon fights are the way to go during the summer. We used to have plenty of these too! All you have to do is buy the balloons, show your kids how to fill them, and let the fun begin.
4. Draw a Map on Your Driveway
Buy big colored chalk from your local art store, and let your kids draw a map of your country, the States, or the world, depending upon their age. You can also get a head start on their geography lessons for the next year!
5. Plant a Vegetable Garden
Even if you live in an apartment with only a tiny deck, get used to planting vegetables with your kids each year. If you have a little section of the yard, you can spare, that's even better. It's an incredible thrill for kids to grow their food and eat it; plus, it tastes so much better.
6. Start a Car Wash Service
Advertise car washes at a discount price in your neighborhood. Before you let your kids do this, teach them the etiquette of handling other people's cars. I once let a friend's older kids detail my car, only to find later that they had jumped on it and dented the hood.
One last thing, whatever supplies your kids will need, buy them new, give your kids the receipt, and make sure your kids pay you back from the money they earn. Having them pay for their supplies is a good lesson in business that you don't want them to miss.
7. Put on a Play
Have your kids practice and stage a play for family, friends, or neighbors on a warm summer night, outside if possible. They can make their costumes and any back drops they need for the staging part. Getting ready to stage and perform a play should keep them busy for weeks.
8. Collect and Paint Rocks
Rock painting is another great activity for kids. Take them on a hike in nature, and let them collect rocks. Buy paints specific for rock painting, and let your kids get to it. Painted rocks are great to use for paper weights or holding doors open, so let your kids devise creative ways to use them. Sometimes they just want to admire their work, and that's fine too.
9. Go Nature Hunting
Take your kids in the backyard or out in nature and help them identify trees on one day and birds on another. They can take leaves home and do an art/science project where they draw the leaves with colored pencils and title them according to the tree they belong to.
For the birds, they can do the same thing and learn to imitate the bird's song as well.
10. Roll Down Hills
We used to love this activity. We spent hours rolling down hills when we were young or even down my grandfather's lawn (he had a huge lawn on a downward slope). Rolling down hills is something all kids should be doing and that kids naturally love to do. If you can't model it for them, set it up like a competition where they see who can get to the bottom first.
Now, these hills should not be too high as you only want it to take about 30 seconds if I remember correctly.
But, it has been a long, long time since I rolled down hills!
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, I guide you in homeschooling with the classics to raise intelligent children of good character. You can enroll using the link below and be confident knowing you can and will homeschool successfully.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.
Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
She is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.
☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.
Should We Teach Sex Education in Schools?
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Are four-year-old children developmentally ready to learn about sex? Are children of any age ready for this kind of education?
No, they are NOT!
Ironically, we teach children to believe in Santa Claus, but, in the same vein, we have sex education classes for preschoolers. Freud would have fun untangling this web of inconsistencies.
One of the problems is that rather than deter children from an interest in sex, sex-education classes have the opposite effect.
A Not-So-Good Idea, Possibly?
According to Dr. Melvin Anchell, who wrote the book What's Wrong With Sex Education, teaching sex education in the classroom has led to significant increases in teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, promiscuity, teenage abortions, and, not surprisingly, depression and suicide.
While the reasons for this are more than we can tackle here, let's look at a few of them to get a sense of what is taking place in the classroom.
For starters, when we introduce children to the concept of sex at an early age and do it in mixed classrooms, we remove that natural barrier of modesty which children have, especially the modesty between girls and boys.
We then reduce sex education to the mechanics of a physical act and ignore its purpose, which is procreation and a physical expression of an emotional state called love.
The earlier children begin to think about the mechanics of sex; however, the more desensitized they become to a physical act that was once held sacred.
Having removed the barrier of modesty, the more curious young people become about sex and the less forbidden it begins to seem.
Dr. Anchell's findings make perfect sense in a world where elementary sex education has been normalized for the masses of children attending public schools.
The New “Lifestyle Choice”
If things weren't bad enough, in the 21st century, we have begun to teach children that sex between two women and two men is a "lifestyle" choice.
A lifestyle choice according to whom?
The idea of teaching four-year-olds that two fathers make a family and two mothers make a family is bizarre. Children do not think in these constructs until they are older.
Children do not judge the various types of "families" in the world. Children take life as it comes without preconceived notions. Whatever world they grow up in will seem normal to them until they are old enough to evaluate it objectively.
Furthermore, what happened to schools teaching subjects such as grammar, Latin, poetry, and Ancient history? Why do we no longer teach these subjects, subjects that children do need to learn if we want them to acquire an education?
After all, isn't that why they are in school?
Benefit vs. Harm?
And, if teaching sex education to children leads to significant increases in teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, promiscuity, teenage abortions, depression, and suicide, as Dr. Anchell reports, then doesn't this tell us that sex education in the classroom is potentially harmful to our children?
If this is true, it would be prudent to understand what your children are being taught in the name of education.
“If no set of moral ideas were truer or better than any other, there would be no sense in preferring civilized morality to savage morality.”
Planned Parenthood has many videos on Youtube produced for children ranging from learning to name their genitalia to knowing about gender identity. As you watch the videos, pay close attention to the language that is being used and the assumptions being made.
This is the same language and the same assumptions your children are being exposed to in public school.
The videos would be laughable if they weren’t so disturbing.
The Sex Education Standards
You can easily check out the National Sexuality Education Standards to learn about the K-12 sexual education objectives as taught in public school today. The information is online and available to anyone who chooses to investigate the matter further.
To give you an idea of what you'll find in the Standards, for example, kindergartners are now taught anatomy. There is nothing wrong with teaching anatomy, but, curiously, no other body parts are mentioned except for the proper names of the male and female genitalia.
A Novel Idea
Have you ever heard a child refer to their private parts by their proper names? On the contrary, as already stated, children have a natural modesty about these things. Why take that away from them?
Furthermore, most adults cannot identify the location of their liver or pancreas, but somehow, a kindergartner should know the proper names of their genitalia?
It would be more fitting to teach students where their organs were located, but maybe not when they are five-years-old.
Feeling Feelings
Consider this standard: "Identify healthy ways for friends to express feelings to each other." Take note that this need to "express feelings to each" is a part of sex-education courses, not a course in communication.
What do they mean by healthy ways that young children express their feelings to one another? Can you imagine an eight-year-old boy going up to his eight-year-old friend, also a boy, and saying, "I'd like to express my feelings to you by telling you that I really like you."
This is not the kind of conversation boys and girls engage in. Maybe they will say something such as, "I like you" or "let's be best friends," as I remember saying to my childhood best friend, but that is the extent of it.
Children are not thinking about their "feelings" for one another because they don't understand the abstract concept of "feelings."
Attempting to teach children about their feelings within the context of sex education, and then teaching them sexual practices, some of which have always been considered deviant, will naturally get them wondering, which may explain why another sexual practice is also on the rise…
Yes, these are things our schooled children are thinking about today whether we like it or not.
“How can one be well...when one suffers morally”
Won’t Boys Be Boys?
Here's another of the Standard's objectives: "Provide examples of how friends, family, media, society and culture influence ways in which boys and girls think they should act."
Shouldn't a healthy society teach girls to behave like girls and boys to behave like boys? Evidently not. Instead, we teach them that they can choose their pronouns as easily as they can choose the color of their water bottle.
Which begs only one question, have we gone totally insane?
In public school, children are expected to ponder the societal influences on their behavior, based on their gender type, yet, Western psychology understands that children are too young to ruminate over these concepts. So...who is fooling whom?
“The goal of a boy should be to become a man, and that of a girl to become a woman.”
Gender type, that's another good one.
Between the third and the fifth grade, a child should: "Define sexual orientation as the romantic attraction of an individual to someone of the same gender or a different gender."
No comment.
Between sixth and eighth grades, your child should be able to: "Differentiate between gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation."
No comment.
There are many reasons to keep your children out of public school, but protecting them from inappropriate exposure to sexual material and subsequent non-sensical value judgments should be at the top of any diligent parent's list.
The environment your children grow up in will help to shape who they become. Research shows that 75% of children will adopt the beliefs they are taught in school.
Childhoods for Children
Children cannot have a wholesome childhood without keeping their innocence intact. Part of their "coming of age" includes being introduced to matters reserved for the adult world when it is appropriate to be introduced to them.
WHEN IT IS APPROPRIATE TO BE INTRODUCED TO THEM.
The Perpetrator
There are developmental stages in which this happens. But when the stages are interrupted and sped up to meet a perverse agenda largely pushed by taxpayer-funded Planned Parenthood, one has to wonder what is going on?
Did you know that between 2013 and 2015, taxpayers funded Planned Parenthood to the tune of 1.5 billion dollars? This is an organization that earns a lot of money itself, not only by performing abortions but by selling the aborted fetal cells and body parts to research companies including the vaccine industry which uses fetal cells to grow its viruses.
“Planned Parenthood lied to the public and to Congress, but now there is no longer any reasonable doubt that Planned Parenthood sold fetal body parts, commodifying living children in the womb and treating pregnant women like a cash crop. The U.S. Department of Justice must escalate the enforcement of laws against fetal trafficking to the highest level of priority.”
Thanks to Planned Parenthood, since the 1960s, we have children who are being deprived of a normal childhood in the name of "social change" and the sundry societal ramifications that come with it.
Parents as Protectors
Therefore, each parent should do everything in their power to oppose Planned Parenthood’s influence on our children by providing a wholesome childhood for the precious being they brought into this world.
Protecting your children has to begin with keeping them out of any school, public or private, that does not protect their innocence.
Sex education is something children should learn about in the home, from their parents (In modest cultures, it isn’t even a topic that’s discussed between parent and child). It is a parent's right to decide if and when to approach the subject; it should never be a decision for public or private schools to make.
As we raise our children, we must remember that we are our children's guardians, and we must guard our children well.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
When you join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course for parents, I train you to homeschool your kids with a focus on critical thinking, good character, and the classics. You can enroll using the link below and be confident knowing you can and will homeschool successfully.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20+ years of experience working in children’s education.
Utilizing her unusual skill set, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.
Why Grading Your Kids Causes More Harm than Good→
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While grading students on a bell curve may make some sense in a college setting, it's a harmful system for measuring the comprehension and knowledge of younger students. The Bell curve was designed to determine where each student ranked in relation to the rest of the group, but each child has a unique mind that is developing at its own rate and understands things in its own time, and, therefore, to compare a child's ability to those of his peers defies common sense.
Read More5 Reasons Why You Should Seriously Consider Homeschooling
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For many of us, taking on the job of homeschooling requires a lot of sacrifice. Some of us give up jobs and careers we love, and all of us give up much of our free time.
However, if we realized the impact of homeschooling on our family, our society, and potentially the world, would it seem like a sacrifice?
Not at all.
What might seem like a sacrifice at first will become the door to a better life for your family and will ultimately impact society and the world for all the reasons that parents choose to homeschool.
Let’s consider five of these reasons:
Quality of Education
Homeschoolers are usually in agreement that we want our children to have an excellent education, and we know it's not going to happen in public school.
Not the kind of education we envision anyhow.
Reading competently, writing skillfully, and speaking eloquently are skills competent homeschoolers want to make sure their children develop because these skills are the cornerstone of a sound education.
With them, the child will grow up to have powerful a voice in a world where few read, few write, and few speak eloquently.
“Who can take the measure of a child? The Genie of the Arabian tale is nothing to him. He, too, may be let out of his bottle and fill the world. But woe to us if we keep him corked up.”
Enjoy Reading
We want our children to not only read well, but to enjoy reading. To choose a book to read over a movie to watch is our ideal. Not that our children never watch movies, but lying in bed with a good book is something they look forward to.
We want our children to be well read and to read books that are worth reading. In 21st century schools, children are required to read books that kids should not have to read such as the Andy Griffith series and books with immoral themes; books that 60 years ago no publisher in their right mind would have ever published.
Curious Until the End
That our children remain curious and become life-long learners in pursuit of knowledge is a concern most homeschoolers share. With studies showing that by first grade a child's innate thirst for knowledge of his world begins to wane, homeschoolers want to fiercely protect their child's curiosity.
Curiosity is inherent to man. Babies come into the world curious but we need environments for our children that nurture their curiosity. Homeschooling provides this environment; public and most private schools do not.
Not a single famous writer, inventor, philosopher, mathematician, scientist, or historian would have become famous had they not been curious. Curiosity is what propels us to keep learning and discovering which makes our lives exciting and colorful and challenging.
A curiosity without which true greatness is difficult to achieve.
Homeschoolers want their children to enjoy learning for the sake of learning, not for rewards or test scores.
The Sorting Factor
Homeschoolers don't want their children subjected to arbitrary tests that serve to sort and rank them amongst their peers.
“The lesson of report cards, grades and tests is that children should not trust themselves or their parents but should instead rely on the evaluation of certified officials. People need to be told what they are worth.”
Instead, they want their children to know that with hard work and perseverance most things are possible, and that test scores are no indication of a person's ultimate worth.
Integrity Means “Whole”
With the loss of a good environment and character training in schools, homeschoolers want to protect the integrity of their children. We want to raise them in an environment that elevates our children to be their best version of themselves, not an environment that chips away at their dignity.
When I was in school, the negative influences were outside the classroom, but that's not true anymore. Children are being taught some grossly inappropriate things inside those four walls that make up the school classroom.
It's time.
“It is time we squarely face the fact that institutionalized schoolteaching is destructive to children. ”
Family Loyalty
Another thing you'll find is that homeschooling preserves the natural loyalty of a family and homeschooling families tend to be more closely-knit. On the contrary, in public school, children learn to be loyal to their peers, not their family, and certainly not their parents.
Once you develop the loyalty to your peers that public school is notorious for fostering, it's hard to undo. Most of us aren't even aware it's there. It wasn’t until my parents passed away that I realized how deep the parent / child bond was and how dishonored the family bond is in Western society.
Our bond with our parents is the next strongest bond we have in life. The only bond that is stronger than the parent / child bond it is the bond we have with our Creator. The family bond is a powerful bond that’s worth protecting.
“The curriculum of “family” is at the heart of any good life. We’ve gotten away from that curriculum – it’s time to return to it.”
We don't need studies to tell us why homeschooled families are closer-knit. We become close to the people we have shared positive experiences with, and homeschooled families spend a lot of time together, and they have a lot of great experiences together.
In contrast, public-schooled children spend time with peers, and they go home where they have to do hours of homework. There isn't much time left for family bonding.
With the family back at the center of a child’s life, and with family as the basis for a wholesome society, by the mere fact of homeschooling, we will change the world.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Become a Smart Homeschooler to raise smart, ethical, and critically-thinking children. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course and feel secure knowing that you have what you need to homeschool successfully as well as live ongoing support from Elizabeth.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Thrive in Life and Excel in Learning.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20 years of experience working in children’s education.
Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with her unique combination of mentors, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.
How to Get a Morning Ritual in Place to Reach Your Daily Goals
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The morning can swallow your time if you don't have a ritual in place especially when you’re homeschooling.
Read MoreTen Strategies to Stay Calm, Cool, and Relatively Sane When Homeschooling
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Anyone who says homeschooling is easy is stretching the truth. I know, a lot of you are shouting out, "But I've heard you say it's easy many times!"
Read More7 Things Every Successful Homeschooler Understands→
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Here are a few maxims that you need to understand to homeschool successfully.
Read MoreCan You Raise Kids Without Technology in 2022?→
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Do you think it’s possible to raise a 2022 child without technology? Let's look at a few facts…
Read MoreA “Head-Start” in Early Education May Do More Harm Than Good→
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Is expecting our children to leave home at earlier and earlier ages, so they can get a head start with reading, writing, and arithmetic, actually giving them a head start?
Read MoreWhy Homeschooling Is Easier If You Get the Early Years Right→
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Get the early years of raising your children right, and homeschooling will be much easier.
Read More5 Reasons Your Family’s Dinnertime Meal Is a Serious Matter→
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All happy families share one thing in common: dinnertime is prime time for the family.
They come together to share a meal, but the food is not what's most important; it’s what happens before, during, and after the meal that matters a lot. In fact, the family dinner meal is a serious matter, not to be taken lightly.
As dinnertime is when many things that are key to your family's overall happiness occur, here are five reasons you never want to miss having a dinnertime meal for your family:
“The dinner table is the center for the teaching and practicing not just of table manners but of conversation, consideration, tolerance, family feeling, and just about all the other accomplishments of polite society except the minuet.”
1) Family Togetherness Makes Kids Feel Secure
Dinnertime is usually the only meal that dad is present for during the week making it a special event, especially for the children. Dads are gone all day, presumably at work, and when they come home, it is a big excitement for the children.
When everyone is seated at the table, the children feel a sense of security having both parents present and knowing that their family is together. With so much divorce present in our culture, this is even more important now that children feel a strong sense of togetherness in the family, and the dinnertime ritual will provide this.
2) A Time for Sharing
Dinnertime is a time when each family member can share their joys and sorrows of the day and feel the comfort in knowing that there are people who care about how their day went and can share in their day's experiences. It’s a time for pleasant conversation and an important time for children to develop their social skills.
“The dinner hour is a sacred, happy time when everyone should be together and relaxed.”
3) Practice in Good Manners
Dinnertime is prime time for teaching children table manners. We forget the importance of table manners because good manners are disappearing from our increasingly uncivil society, but good manners are what hold the glue of a family together.
Without practicing common courtesy towards one another, disrespect reigns, and all hell breaks loose. If you want to avoid family quarrels and division, teach your children good manners and practice them yourself. Let them see you and your spouse treat each other courteously, and they will follow in-suit. You never want to tolerate bad manners, ever.
4) Balanced Meals Lead to Good Health
Dinnertime is an essential meal for ensuring your children get proper nourishment which implies that you teach them to eat what you serve them. Well-mannered children do not get special meals because they are "picky" eaters or have an "aversion" to certain kinds of foods.
Unless a child has a legitimate food allergy, teach them to eat what is on their plate without complaint. As long as the child has molars and is old enough to sit at the dinner table, there is no such thing as "baby" food. There is food, full stop.
5) Cooperation and Responsibility
Dinnertime is a time for children to learn cooperation and responsibility. Each child should have chores they perform at mealtimes. Depending upon their age, they can help prepare the food, set the table, serve the food, clear the table, wash the dishes, and clean the kitchen, including emptying the garbage at the end of the day.
Chores teach children responsibility, and they also teach them to cooperate with others in making a helpful contribution towards the care of the family.
“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.”
If getting meals on the table each day and on time is a struggle for you, then you want to take some time to get better organized and disciplined about the planning, shopping, and preparation of your meals.
Decide on your menu a week in advance, do your shopping in advance, and pick a time for dinner that lets you work backward, so you know at precisely what time you have to start preparing dinner.
Stick to this time, no matter what else happens that day. If an emergency should arise, always have a quick backup meal available, so you don't miss the dinnertime ritual. If you do miss it once, don't miss it twice.
The more days in a row that you miss, the more likely you will be to fall into old patterns of erratic mealtimes, which translate into missed opportunities for your family to flourish and grow.
A Time Saver for You
If you need a helping hand, I've prepared a free download for you. It's a shopping check-off list that my friend Jason created. His wife Maureen never misses a family meal, and I believe that Jason's ingenious list has a lot to do with it.
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life.
Become a Smart Homeschooler and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home using the Smart Homeschooler Academy Curriculum and teaching methods taught in the program. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course and feel secure knowing that you have what you need to homeschool successfully as well as live ongoing support from Elizabeth.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20 years of experience working in children’s education.
Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with her unique combination of mentors, Elizabeth has developed her own comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.
Are You Raising Ethical Children?→
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You may be, it can be difficult to tell. Sometimes it requires an honest look into our own behavior. How ethical of a person are we?
“Ethics, also called moral philosophy, the discipline concerned with what is morally good and bad and morally right and wrong.”
And sometimes, it requires an honest look at how we are raising our children. Are we holding them accountable for their actions?
Regardless, each of us has an innate moral nature. At very early ages, children will begin to make judgment calls about what is right and what is wrong. Consider how young a child is when he begins to say things like, "But that's not fair!"
As children mature, we want to teach them how to govern their emotions and act with the intention to do the right thing. Conducting ourselves with integrity is a choice.
“Integrity, from the Latin word: integritas meaning purity; morally, uprightness”
Yet, given the state of affairs today, there appears to be a grave breakdown in our sense of right and wrong, making it challenging to model ethical behavior for our children.
Learning how to determine ethical boundaries begins in the home, but learned behaviors in school also play a role. As Vicky Abeles points out in her iconic film, The Race to Nowhere, 97% of high school students lie and cheat on exams throughout their high school years to be able to graduate at the end of their four-year term.
Now, upon first hearing this, you might think this kind of behavior is restricted to high school, but this isn't the case.
Children who learn to make exceptions for ethical behavior when the exceptions lead to acquiring something important, such as a high school diploma, are at risk of adopting habits contrary to good character.
“It is well said, then, that it is by doing just acts that the just man is produced, and by doing temperate acts the temperate man; without doing these no one would have even a prospect of becoming good.”
We can all sympathize with their plight as the demands made on schoolchildren are impossible, but something is wrong when they are part of an educational system that they cannot succeed at unless they lie and cheat. And we have to ask ourselves, "Do we really want to enroll them in such a system?"
Regardless, once bad habits such as these are established, it is unlikely they will be limited to the classroom. On the contrary, a habit is a habit, and to correct a bad one requires an intention to break the habit. But first, a person needs to see that there is a problem.
It's difficult, however, to see that you have a problem when your problem has become the norm. Between the school environment plus the unclear boundaries in the home, one can expect that the child's ability to accurately distinguish between right and wrong will be blurry, at best.
And this is what we are dealing with today. Lying and cheating are the norms to such a degree that even people who think they are ethical are not.
However, each individual is responsible for his own actions. We cannot shift the responsibility of our behavior to anyone or anything else. Science is good at blaming our behavior on mythical chemical imbalances or brain configurations that deviate from the norm.
We are very good at blaming our parents or anything we can reasonably point our fingers at, but the reality is that the only direction we can honestly point our fingers is at ourselves.
We all have the ability to choose and evading responsibility for our choices will get us nowhere. While the blame game may make us feel better momentarily, it will not make us a better person, and it will not help us raise better children.
Before we can assume responsibility for our actions, we have first to understand what is right behavior and what is wrong behavior. Once we can make this distinction, we must choose to correct our less-than-admirable behavior, so we act in harmony with our values.
It is of paramount importance that we teach this kind of mindfulness to our children. We must avoid putting them in situations that will undermine this teaching, and we must set a good example for them with our own behavior.
The latter means that we have to be honest with ourselves about the state of our characters. We learn to understand our character by diligently questioning our intentions and actions and correcting them when we find them not aligning with our values.
We all have a conscience and know in our heart of hearts when we are doing something wrong. As my father once said, "The road to Hell is a long series of negotiations with the devil." In other words, it isn't one big thing we do that determines who we are, but the little things we do over and over again that will eventually decide the state of our characters.
The majority of us often compromise our integrity in mindless ways. Sometimes we compromise it in simple acts like withholding information from a friend to produce an outcome that benefits us or maybe the grocery checker forgot to check something in our basket and we walked off without telling her.
But sometimes, we compromise our integrity in more significant ways.
“Virtue lies in our power, and similarly so does vice; because where it is in our power to act, it is also in our power not to act...”
We might do egregious things like damage someone's bumper and drive off without leaving a note. Maybe we plant the seeds of doubt about another person's character to mutual friends because we are envious of them? Maybe we charge for a high-quality service that we aren't competent to provide.
To correct these kind of behaviors, we have to stop and ask ourselves this question: for how much am I willing to compromise my integrity?
Will I compromise it for the 50 cents I didn't have to pay because the teller missed the apple in my cart? Will I compromise it for the 100 dollars I saved because I didn't fix the bumper that I damaged? Will I compromise it for the benefit I received for withholding information from my friend or lessening people's opinion of someone? Will I compromise my integrity for the extra money I earned for fraudulently advertising something I couldn't fully provide?
When we reflect on especially the minor injustices we commit, we realize for how little we will compromise our own integrity.
If you can understand that the little things add up to the big things, and the big things make up your character, somehow saving the cost of an apple or a bumper repair hardly seem worth it.
“What a piece of work is a man! How Noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! In form and moving how express and admirable! In Action, how like an Angel in apprehension, how like a God!
The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—”
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
For parents of children under age seven who would like to prepare their child for social and academic success, please begin with our online course, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life.
Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and a Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach with 20 years of experience working in children’s education.
Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with her unique combination of mentors, Elizabeth has developed her own comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.
Why You Shouldn't Focus on Your Child's Happiness
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I believe it was Isocrates who said that the healthy child wants to become an adult. In raising our children well, we must teach them how to act and think like mature people.
Yet, the phrase we hear most often repeated is this:
"I just want him to be happy."
But if you think about it, it isn't what you most want. What you most want is that he grows up to be a decent, hard-working, mature adult. If you raise him to become these things, then happiness will follow.
As the ancients understood and current research now proves, happiness is found in living a virtuous life. The modern pursuit of pleasure and good times, it turns out, is just a myth being thrust upon us by very sophisticated and manipulative marketing techniques.
Contrary to this empty rhetoric, a good life does not come from the pursuit and acquisition of pleasure, in whatever form you desire, but it comes from being a virtuous person. As the concept of "virtue" seems to be an idea that’s gone out of fashion, let me share with you some of the qualities that a virtuous person might possess:
Humility, courage, mercy, patience, tolerance, diligence, and generosity. These are some of the qualities a truly “happy” person might embody.
To inculcate these kind of qualities in your child, you must begin when he is very young.
You must train him in the way of good habits, and then, and only then, will you be able to raise a happy child who later becomes a happy adult. One state naturally follows the other.
What is the key to raising a child with good habits?
Raise a child who is obedient and does the right thing, not from fear of you, but from a deep love and respect for you.
We don't need behavioral studies to prove this; we need to pay attention. A child who is always complaining and throwing tantrums and always asking for this and that is not a happy child, is he? Nor is the child who is always doing what he is told not to do.
However, the kind of training that protects from these unhappy states must start when your child is very young. You should begin training your child in the ways of good behavior as soon as he or she turns two years of age.
If you wait until much later to begin, the training process becomes increasingly more difficult. Waiting too long means you will need to correct bad habits first and then work on instilling the good habits in your child.
It’s a much more tedious and frustrating experience to correct bad habits than it is to avoid them from forming in the first place.
“Give me a child until he is seven and I will show you the man.”
If you fail to raise your child well, then he will be destined to spend the rest of his life working to correct deeply ingrained negative traits (a lifetime pursuit and not for the easily discouraged). Even worse, he will perpetuate and suffer the ills in life (as will everyone he encounters) that arise from not being a good person.
You see, the opposite of the virtuous person would be the wretched one who will never know any real happiness. We've all known wretched people, especially as they get older and nature carves their wretched states into their faces. We certainly don't want this for our children!
In a nutshell, if you focus on the happiness factor when your child is young, you will fail to raise a happy child. Focus on raising a decent child first, and his happiness will follow.
If you don't know where to begin, do this: throw out all of your parenting books and stop asking your friends for advice (the latter is the equivalent of the blind leading the blind). Moving forward, begin to think about the consequences of your actions as a parent.
Start asking yourself questions such as, "If I do this, then what is the message I am giving my child?" If I let him do this, then what am I teaching him about his behavior and the journey of life?"
For example, this may surprise you to know that many parents look to their children's desires to decide how they should educate them. I know this for a fact (no studies done, yet) because the parents say things to me like, "I thought about homeschooling, but he wanted to go to school with his neighborhood friends," or "I thought about homeschooling, but he's so social, and I think he'd be happier in school."
How you educate your child is a huge decision that will alter the course of his life, but he is too young to make such a life-changing decision. You are the adult; this is your decision to make for your child.
It doesn't matter if he prefers to go to school with friends or that you think he would be happier in school because he has friends to socialize with every day. What matters is whether or not a school is the best place for your child or whether another option might be such as homeschooling.
You have to weigh the pros and cons accurately and objectively before you make this kind of a decision.
Base your decision upon your values and what you want for your children. If you want to raise decent children, you have to consider the moral environment of the child.
If you're going to raise highly intelligent children, you have to evaluate the level of academic training a school offers. If you want both, then you have to look for an educational model that provides both,
If you only care about your child's immediate happiness, then you can let him make this decision.
I used the example of educational decisions because I hear about them a lot, but the truth is that there are many decisions we let our children make every day, such as when they can finish playing; when they need to do their chores; when they need to get ready for bed.
Instead of training them to understand that these are non-negotiable commands we make of our children, we go to the negotiating table with them and let them argue their case for an extension of time for whatever it is they want to do.
We also exhaust ourselves in the process, which is one reason parents find raising children so challenging today. It's always tiring to have to argue with someone and then give in to them when they should have done what you asked them to do in the first place.
Children need most, and what they don't have enough of are adults who guide them on their way to maturity by concerning themselves less with whether or not their children are happy and more with whether or not the parents are training their children well.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
The point to childhood is to prepare for adulthood; you should be less concerned about making a child happy and more concerned about raising a child who grows up to be a responsible, honorable, and mature adult.
It's not uncommon today to see grown children well into their 30's, or 40's still living at home because they can't make it on their own. The other day, my 30-something chiropractor told me that half of his friends still live at home.
I know of many situations where the parents still have aging children at home. An offspring well into adulthood and living at home out of necessity was unheard of when I was young.
Literally.
Make your priority for your children less about their happiness and more about behaving well and doing the right thing.
If you do, the chances are strong that you'll be able to enjoy your golden years knowing your kids are doing well and on the way to acquiring the kind of happiness that comes from living a good life.
*****
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.
For parents of children under age seven, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life, course will be open again sometime in March, 2021.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, a lover of the classics, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.
Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.
5 Ways to Stimulate Your Child's Love of Learning
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The other night a friend showed me a clip of her nine-month-old baby trying to imitate her mother's expressions. I looked into the baby's eyes as I watched the video and the intense alertness that I witnessed, the acute observation of each facial move in her mother's face, was fascinating.
The baby wanted to know how to make the same faces her mother was making, and she was trying to understand how to do this by conducting a scientific investigation.
It's the intense desire to know that all healthy children possess, yet what happens to their curiosity as they grow older? Why do so many children forsake that infinite sense of wonder that is so innate to each of us?
“No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge, and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure to acquire.”
One of the reasons this happens today is because too many children start school at young ages, and by the time they reach kindergarten, first grade, if they are lucky, the light within them begins to dim.
Consider this: if your child’s desire to explore and understand the world around him is constantly thwarted by a teacher’s dictates, he will begin to give up his investigative work, and his sense of curiosity will eventually wilt.
For example, if a child has a small shovel in his hand, but every time he tries to shovel something a teacher tells him to stop, he will eventually stop picking the shovel up.
When a child cannot follow the lead of his curiosity, or is not in an environment where he can exercise his desire to know, as children who are in daycare and preschools from early ages are, they begin to put their curiosity down.
If you have a child whose curiosity is waning, or whose curiosity you want to stimulate, here are five things you can do:
If you have to put your child into an outside program, look for a daycare or preschool that is play-based and ideally held in the outdoors, such as a Forest School. Make sure they are operated by people who understand what children need at these tender ages. If you aren't sure what the philosophy for the school is, ask them. Please do not be shy about these matters; after all, this is your child, and you want to make sure he is under the best care.
Immediately remove all screens from your child's life both inside and outside the home. Under no circumstances should you hand him your cell phone to quiet him because you are busy. Screens are a cause of a dimming curiosity; not only that but they will thwart your child's brain development.
Do not entertain your child! Let him entertain himself. It is not that you don't ever play with your child, but only that you do not become his full-time playmate. Allow him to follow the dictates of his curiosity and figure things out for himself. Children are little scientists; let him conduct his own experiments.
Be curious yourself. Take your child into the outdoors and explore with him. Let him walk barefoot on fallen leaves and dip his feet into spring water to awaken his senses. Bring his attention to the songs of birds and the rustling of the trees as the wind blows through them. Collect a bug or two and read about them when you get home. Notice a particular bird sound (my favorite is the red-winged blackbird!) and look the bird up in a reference book or on the internet when you get home. Try to imitate the bird's song with your child. Ask him questions to stimulate a conversation and discover the answers together, such as how birds fly and what foods they eat.
Lastly, if you can, don't put your child into any school programs until he is at least ten years old. Until then, teach him yourself because so many learning problems take root during those early years. The first few grades of elementary school are easy to teach when you know what you are doing.
Remember that the desire to know is our natural state, but we have this yearning socialized out of us in various ways, the least not being school. Our innate desire to know, however, is still there within us.
“An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.”
If your child's desire for knowledge has dimmed for any of the above reasons, understand that you can help him awaken it. It is something you must make the intention to do too because reaching his full potential in life begins with the desire to know.
Why should he become less than he could be when he can be so much more?
Don’t miss our free download, Ten Books Every Well-Educated Child Should Read.
Become a Smart Homeschooler, literally, and give your child a first-rate, screen-free education at home and enjoy doing it. Join the Smart Homeschooler Academy online course.
For parents of children under age seven, Raise Your Child Well to Live a Triumphant Life, course will be open again sometime in March, 2021.
Elizabeth Y. Hanson is an educator, veteran homeschooler, a lover of the classics, and a Love and Leadership certified parenting coach with 19 years of experience working in children’s education.
Utilizing her unusual skill set, coupled with the unique mentors she was fortunate to have, Elizabeth has developed a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child. She devotes her time to helping parents get it right.
☞ Disclaimer: This is not a politically-correct blog.
