11 Ways to Convince your Spouse to Homeschool (even if you think he'll never agree!)

If your husband or wife’s mind is already set against homeschooling, you have to approach the situation very gingerly. It’s not wise to push our views on someone, least of all a spouse.  

It is time that we squarely face the fact that institutional schoolteaching is destructive to children.
— John Taylor Gatto

Usually when a spouse doesn’t agree with homeschooling, it’s because he doesn’t understand what John Taylor Gatto refers to as "the dangers of public school."

The Conversation

But you can start the conversation by asking your spouse a question, such as, "What are your hopes and goals for our children’s education?"

You have now opened the channels for him to let you know his hopes and goals in a non-threatening way. As he shares these with you, listen for his concerns too.

Once you’ve got a friendly discussion going, approach the subject of homeschooling.

If you were to consider homeschooling, would he have any objections or concerns? If so, what would those be?

The Objections

The typical objections to homeschooling are the following:

  • The children will be academically behind and fail to get into a reputable college.

  • Homeschooled kids lack good social skills.

  • Homeschooled children don’t have any friends.

  • You aren’t qualified to homeschool unless you’re an accredited teacher.

  • You aren’t qualified to homeschool unless you have a college degree.

Maybe your husband doesn't know any homeschoolers and the idea sounds too fantastic to him?

Keep in mind that your spouse wants what is best for his children just as much as you do.

The Persuasion

Whatever his objections are, you want to take note and ask him if he would be open to watching some videos on the subject, looking at some research, or even reading some books together.

If you keep the conversation neutral and show a genuine interest in his views and concerns, most reasonable husbands will oblige their wives. 

Now, here comes the tricky part: you will need to provide him with information that is sound and relevant.

No need to panic though because we have you covered. You can download our free resource list to convince anyone about the merits of homeschooling.

The list will provide you with 11 resources to educate your husband (or anyone) about the many problems with public school and why homeschooling is the best option today. 

This resource is also helpful if you have family members or friends who are strongly opposed to homeschooling.

Grab your free download here: 11 Resources to Convince Anyone to Homeschool.

Once someone truly understands what is fundamentally wrong with public school, it is near impossible to put a child into it unless the person has no other choice.

Some Cautionary Advice

Be careful about taking the attitude of proving your spouse wrong. No one likes to be proven wrong, and trying to show your spouse that you were right will not help your cause. 

Instead, you want to humble yourself and be gentle in the way you handle the situation.

Go slowly.

When someone has a fixed opinion, it’s prudent to allow time for that person to shift into a new mindset.

Start early by educating your spouse when your children are young.

By the time they are ready to go to school, hopefully, you'll both be excited about homeschooling! 

School is a twelve-year jail sentence where bad habits are the only curriculum truly learned. I teach school and win awards doing it. I should know.
— John Taylor Gatto

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Elizabeth Y. Hanson is a homeschooling thought-leader and the founder of Smart Homeschooler.

As an Educator, Homeschool Emerita, Writer, and Love and Leadership Certified Parenting Coach, she has 21+ years of experience working in education.

Developing a comprehensive understanding of how to raise and educate a child, based on tradition and modern research, and she devotes her time to helping parents to get it right.

Elizabeth is available for one-on-one consultations as needed.

"I know Elizabeth Y. Hanson as a remarkably intelligent, highly sensitive woman with a moral nature and deep insight into differences between schooling and education. Elizabeth's mastery of current educational difficulties is a testimony to her comprehensive understanding of the competing worlds of schooling and education. She has a good heart and a good head. What more can I say?”

John Taylor Gatto Distinguished educator, public speaker, and best-selling author of Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling